Moving through the materiality criticisms of my handmade books I decided to make paper at home. I had to create my own equipment as I could not find any in the area to purchase and to buy it was expensive with long delivery times.
My initial batches were coarse and grey as I was using a substandard blender and the paper had a lot of printer ink on it. It was also heavily textured due to the fabric I was using to place it on. I replaced that and fixed the other teething problem and created some almost white paper. I was trying to maintain an element of transparency but this proved to be very difficult with the paper tearing and breaking up.
Once I dry I did some ink experiments with the pieces. Because the paper doesn't go through any finishing processes it is absorbent and allows the ink to bleed through. I think this could be made a feature but where it absorbs too much ink it very quickly disintegrates.
I next used threads in the process of papermaking, laying them on and in the paper solution as I was creating the sheets. This relies on the paper fibres to hold the thread in place and is not the most secure way of doing it. After a short time, the threads began to come away from the paper. I also sandwiched the threads between sheets but this rendered the paper very thick and the threads not as visible.
I do really find something pleasing about the piece that created holes, this unperfect aspect in an art form that prides itself on perfection moves me back into the thinking of chaos and order.
I did stitch a piece but it doesn't photograph well, this is a piece of Japanese paper that was also stitched. It holds the threads well whereas my handmade paper tore quickly and I abandoned stitching it further to save the piece. Perhaps the next point would be to continue until is does destroy itself and see what happens.
Apr '18
Exploratory Project - Wk 10 - 22/04/2018- 28/04/2018 - Textile
Textile:I've decided to use these journal posts to bring all the elements of one branch of investigation together to keep it coherent and not seem all over the place.I have a strong textile background and have resisted working in textiles for a long time before starting this course due to bad critique experiences and my own self depreciation.It feels natural to me to work in fibre. The touch is comforting and the techniques are often repetitive and meditative. This is a strong presence in my work looking at routines and the mundane every day, the things that get overlooked.I've been considering how touch can evoke emotion for the contextual study and realised that for me touch plays a big part in self-soothing stress and also helping to understand how things work or are made, babies touch everything! Yet the arts tend to forbode touch, and this is something I am looking to consider in my work. Textile Artist Maxine Bristow talks about touch and how we interact with fabric in public places such as buses and trains.
http://www.maxinebristow.com/
Rug making is full of touch and normally trodden on in bare feet. Rugs have also been used to adore walls and demarcate areas. The process of Latchwork is a simple pull-through know made using a hook and canvas.
Below the back can be seen, its relatively straight lines and the top is more chaotic.
I am considering how this would work on a large scale where the height of the pile can be changed and the textures would highlight the geometric structure further.I also used crossstitch, and punch stitch to explore how these geometric can translate in to stitch.
I found them frustrating. I longed for density in these pieces either by layering transparent fabric over each other or by building up textures and stitch density. There is a long way to go with the textile aspect of this exploration.
24/04/2018 - Exploratory Project - Group Crits
Exploratory Project Crit Group PresentationSlides:Part 1: Books & objects Book - dipping, pages, closed
Part 2: paper collages for painted works
the need for painting - the feeling
Part 3: Structure
Paper structures - the upcoming experiments
paused due to material sourcing (laser cutter and acrylic)
Part 4: Stitched/Strung
Stitched pieces - the fabric experiments
Part 5: Text
Questions:
Scale - go big or go even smaller? Thinking chapman brothers mini scenes, minutiae, pulling the viewer in, OR larger scale, overwhelm, frustration, confusion.
These pieces feel linked, is there space for a performance piece? - would need a movement class, have a possible collab.
Responses:
How much engagement does the audience needs to have with the work?Touch them, and open them, etcHow do I want my audience/ how do people interact-expectations, Focus groups. Create a experience or being excessive-Inclusion of audiences/children etcDo they need to come together or exists separately?Separate-Individually paper collages– AmazingMovement– Gymnast/contortionist trying to getMinor chaos-the strings and the different intentionAre so the work as installation stringpiece and losing contortionist or gymnast or and using contortionists for gymnasts to move around the piece as performance all allowing audience to move around as personal performance.Audience through the work so do they make you work? Laser cut pieces for installation? Large-scale-room and Intel-Keep Separate works through of Videos.
Exploratory Project - Wk 9 - 15/04/2018- 21/04/2018 - Structures
Paper works and structures:Starting in a usual place for me with tracing paper images. I like the chaotic nature of layers and the translucent papers allow for quick plays and layouts.Starting to consider how I can give more form to the work, how to move from 2D to 3D so turned my attention to space. Initially filling in the surrounding space of the lines and layering for density.
I moved on to cutting these forms out and playing with the idea of layered collages to build up density that can be moved. The collages are not fixed and therefore have boundless configurations adding an element of temporary chaos to their organisation. A small breeze would change them, an event that's tiny causing a larger repercussion.
While dropping the pieces they began to entangle and build up into these half-collapsed forms. allowing for the consideration of 3D to leap off the page. 
I moved forward by looking into the thickness of the line, the thinner the line, the more fragile the piece appears.
These pieces were created using a 1inch paint pen. The paper started to bend and curve with the ink. The structures are less intricate but have far more of a density to them, a presence.
Transfering these ideas back to stitch, I used card and the recommended influence of Fred Sandback to explore moving the lines into an installation. I created some maquettes. One has a base and a ceiling, the threads would be suspended from both, creating a web of vertical lines to walk in and out of. 
The second was purely of suspension. Inspired by Hassan Sharifs hanging pieces that were seen at his retrospective, the thread would come down from the ceiling and amass on the floor, making it difficult to walk through the space.
In creating the piece and laying it down for photgraphy I was actually very drawn to it as a piece in its own right. The chaotic hanging threads shielding the geometric stitch design behind them.
I went on to revisit the white piece and play with how that could become a small piece in its own right too. This was more of a struggle and moves back to the book work so I will look at how I can link the two.
As I was determined to at least try the 3D work I used modelling straws (from my teaching kit!) to tape up some simplified designs I created in Adobe Illustrator. They proved to be very poor quality and frustrating so rather than waste time with them I moved forward.
Lastly, I cut a piece from card, it is 50cm x 50cm and a laborious task. The issue once it was complete was that it was still a flat piece. Multiple pieces would have to be cut and slotted together but this didn't feel like the right route to go down.
After this, I decided to forgo the laser cutter as this would have given more flat pieces. and I put the 3D work on hold for this project. I would like to investigate the ways sculpture can be subversive and involve the viewer in touch by creating something that looked hard and metallic but was actually plush and soft.
18/04/2018 - Text: poetry
Using Skillshare online teaching website, took course: Poetry 1: intro to making poems-led by Cameron Conaway - PoetHe asks 'What is a poet?' - Something tangible and inside, Write to make the small large, the minutiae of everyday to make it mean something. This really struck a chord with me, I have always kept private books with poems in, just something I have done since school, I had a wonderful english literature teacher that encouraged e to write for fun and I carried on.His first task is to find a Theme - Something physically close to us, or that stirs emotions, or that we are interested in learning more about. The activity is call 'Action 10' which is 10 minutes long, 5 minutes sitting meditation, followed by 5 minutes free writing, No filter, no editing, no stopping, no self censoring; just continuous typing or writing.Second is 'Finding your thread' - the part of us tethered to our theme.Action 10-10 minutes right as we sit. Write about what matters or care about the same.Small noticing: Detail, Minutely organised particles, a bright particular star, bubbles in the dishwasher, The Billboard, The light on grapefruit. Procrastination has a purpose. It allows you to absorb the small noticing marinate on it, perkily. Adam Grant-Commit.Action 10 five minutes sitting meditation with notebook small notice things five minutes free writing look at notes and free right.MY WORK:ThemeContinuous writing - 5 minutesWindow, grid, tree, chaos, framed, captured by window frame, cat peers out, restricted, watching, lines of houses, neighbours house, pipes, Windows, Doors, Wall, horizontal, vertical, window curtain, screen, bookcase, bench, rugs, tiles, doorway, fridge, door, fan, me, door, walls, tiles, grout, Lines, paralleled, straight, orders, recline, linear, tidy, confined, Beautiful, completed, complete, fractured, snapshots, vignettes, Moments, frames, cropped, cutoff, removed, connected, perceptions, perspectives, paralleled, reflect, actions, reflective, fractured, reflections, disjointed, imperfect.ThreadContinuous writing - 10minsportals, boundaries, screens/frames, vignettes, encased snapshot of something, an edit, a consumable piece of a whole, a glimpse. how I manage my thoughts, breaking things down into pieces. making them fractured to be consumed, the segments of an orange make it more palatable, a slice, a serving. With so much on offer, so many options it provides a limit, a restriction - to keep things from running off, to maintain control. the media and its edits, the control of information available and that which is not. you only know what you know. the comfort of knowledge. the discomfort of the unknown, the unpredictable - health, happiness, the unpredictability of life - OCD & Anxiety - cause and effect - relinquishing control - carelessness, responsibility, comfort of routine / discomfort of unpredictability - can you find comfort in the unpredictability? Small Noticing's - detailsPlanting a garden is to believe in tomorrowthe stillness of the windowthe leaves twinkling in the sunlightthe silence of the scenethe rumble of the washing machinethe frame containing the leaves that disappear beyond its edges of viewVertical edges, horizontal binds, shadows and bricks, reflectingthe containment of the busy window within the windowthe cropped visuals of vases through embroidery hoopsthe lack of associated soundthe buzz of the fridgethe twinkle of the cat water fountainthe whirls and clashes of the washing machinethe twitters and squarks of birdsthe buzz of an irritating flythe rise & fall, ripple of the sail shade, silentthe jostle of the jasminethe bamboo windchim renders silent by the glazing POEMS:windchime Glass renders it silent,Its movements make sweet music.Its song remains unshared until someone, the window, opens. window portals,boundaries,encased snapshots, an edit. a consumable fragment,a glimpse, palatable. calm jasmine jostlesleaves fold I watch steel and glass containassuaged by structure the wind blows but not here